• Valerie Borkovich

Become Calmer Instantly With These 10 Simple Techniques

Updated: Mar 9

A womans hand touching the water with her finger and watching the calming effects of the water ripple outwards
10 Steps to a Calmer Life

We all have moments when stress and anxiety get the best of us. I’ve personally experienced times when those stressful moments turn into hours and even days , sometimes, of constant overwhelm. When my heart starts racing before I even crack my eye in the morning. Where irritability consumes me, and I can’t shake it off.

During those times of unrest and dis-ease, I prefer to be alone. I don’t want to take out my anger and overwhelm on others. I don’t want to hurt others because I can’t get control of my emotions.

Being a single parent, that wasn’t always possible. Whether I felt like it, or not, there were mom duties that needed to be taken care of.

There are many techniques that will help you relax an overworked mind and body. I’ve created a list of 10 of my favorite anti-stress activities that work almost instantly.

1. Breathe

Number 1 on the list for good reason. Your breath is something you can connect with anytime, anywhere, whether you are alone or in a group of


Try this now.

Take a deep, slow, conscious breath in. Inhale to the count of 4. Now hold it for

a count of 4. Then slowly exhale for 4.

How does that feel? Do you feel calmer already? Peaceful? More grounded?

When we are angry or stressed out, our breathing becomes erratic. We hold

our breath and breathing becomes very shallow.

When we take deep breaths, using our abdomen and diaphragm, it helps to

control the nervous system, and encourages the body to relax.

A backdrop of plants with a neon sign that reads..." and breathe"
And Breathe...

2. Candle Gazing

Light a candle and watch the flame dance. This technique is great for soothing

your mind, body, and spirit.

It’s been scientifically proven to relax your body because of the low lighting.

It improves memory and concentration.

Here is a powerful candle gazing meditation that you can do at home

3. Engage in a mindless activity

Activities that can be done, that don’t require much thought or concentration,

are great ways to calm an overactive nervous system.

Some of those activities that work well for me are:

Pulling weeds

Washing the dishes

Cleaning my house

These activities might not sound too exciting…but that is the point. Excitable is

not the goal here. The goal is to calm down an overactive nervous system and

produce a state of calm.

3. Hold an icecube in your hand

This may sound a little off the wall, but is something that can prove really

helpful in grounding you back into the present moment when you feel yourself

slipping into a panic attack.

The intense cold helps distract you from feelings of panic and racing thoughts,

and brings focus back to your body and surroundings.

4. Shake your body

You have probably seen animals do this.

It’s also been referred to as tremoring.

The shaking or vibrating helps to release emotions that become stuck in the


It helps burn off excess adrenaline, release muscular tension, and calm the

nervous system, managing stress levels in the body.

Plus, it’s fun!! So shake loose that anxiety!!

Here's a video that will help simplify TRE ( Trauma Releasing Exercise)

5. 5-4-3-2-1 Method

This is a technique is used to get you out of your head, away from racing

thoughts, and back into the present moment.

Name 5 things you can see

Name 4 things you can hear

Name 3 things you can feel

Name 2 things you can smell

Name 1 thing you can taste

6. Take a break

It can be extremely helpful to take a break from your environment when

Experiencing anxiety.

Take a walk, go for a drive, find a peaceful spot in nature.

This article can help you understand why you spend so much time stuck in you head

7. Listen to music

According to research, listening to music, has the power to reduce stress and

anxiety by lowering our heart rate and cortisol levels.

It can distract us from racing thoughts, release endorphins, create a sense of

nostalgia, and increase our overall sense of wellbeing.

8. Take your tongue off the roof of your mouth

This is one of my favorite tools to use when I have racing thoughts, because it

works so well at bringing me back into the present moment.

You may not even notice, but when we’re in our head too much, our tongue is

pushed up against the roof of our mouth.

By relaxing your tongue and pulling it off the roof of your mouth, you can stop

overthinking in its tracks.

9. Warm Running Water

This has a similar effect as holding ice in your hand. Running warm water over

your hands, feet, or face, calms your nervous system, relaxes you and can

bring your mind back to the present moment.

10. Exercise

It may be the last thing that you want to do when you’re feeling panicked, but

exercise has the power to instantly relieve bouts of anxiety.

During an anxiety attack, we have extra stress hormones flooding our system.

Exercise like walking, running, hiking, and yoga, help to put hormones like

cortisol and adrenaline to good use, burn them off, and help you achieve a

more relaxed state.

A white feather falling into a mans' hand
Enjoy a dose of calm everyday

Although these techniques work extremely well in calming down your nervous system, you may need extra support in dealing with anxiety, panic attacks, or PTSD.

Your physician may recommend therapy or medications for your specific needs.

It’s important to always seek advice from a medical professional to assist you on your healing journey.

Do you have any techniques that work for you? I'd love to hear about them in the comments!



You will also enjoy 5 Powerful Ways to Become More Authentic PLUS+ Stop People Pleasing!

As Always, Wishing you Love, Light, and Happiness,


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