• Valerie Borkovich

How I Stopped Resisting Life and Began Living From a Place of Surrender

The simple steps I use to get out of my head- and into the Powerful Present Moment

Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create resistance to what already is? What could be more insane, than to oppose life itself, which is now, and always now? Surrender to what is. Say ‘yes’ to life and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Have you ever completely wasted a Sunday evening with feelings of dread because you can’t stop thinking about how much you hate that tomorrow is Monday, and you have to go back to work? Are you going to call off? Probably not. So, why not try letting it go? Easier said than done...right?

How about putting off paying a bill until the last possible second, just because you don’t want to. You know you like having electricity...but you feel safer with that extra 300 in your account. So, you put it off. Feeling guilt and shame every time you swipe your card at Starbucks. Just pay the damn bill!

The Struggle is Real

If you're shaking your head right now, thinking GIRL...tell my story! You know what resistance feels like. It feels like tension. It feels like anxiety. It feels like struggle. It often feels like desperation. Desperation to hold on to control.

Living in a state of flow; surrender, is the polar opposite of resistance. When you’re resisting the flow of life, it’s as if you are in an ocean swimming against the current. You might make a little progress if you’re a strong swimmer. But , eventually, you tire out. And you let go.

Sweet Surrender

I loved the idea of surrendering to the flow of life, but it wasn’t a concept that came easily for me. It still doesn’t most days. But I can identify when I’m creating resistance, instead of practicing the ‘art of allowing’, as Abraham Hicks refers to it, so much more quickly.

I drove to Mcdonald’s about an hour ago for a coffee, and the line was wrapped around the building both ways. I became instantly irritated, and pulled into a parking spot. I’ll run inside to beat the line…

You know where this is going, right?

I order my coffee and an Egg Mcmuffin and smile at the cashier as I take my ticket and step aside. 5 minutes pass. It may have only been 2 minutes, but it felt like 20 since ALL I could do was focus on the gnawing impatience that was growing in the pit of my stomach.

It was evident in the tension in my jaw. The angry glare I shot at the employees every time that I caught their eye. This was a serious matter! Why are they back there laughing and joking around( happily doing their job) while I stand here enraged over an Egg Mcmuffin?

Then something shifted…

A release. A letting go.

I’m not hurting them. I’m not making them move any faster. I’m only causing my own suffering.

Do I enjoy causing myself suffering? It seems that way.

When you begin to feel emotions like anger, fear, or irritation coming up, acknowledge them without judgement.

Ask yourself, “ What am I resisting right now”?

Most of the time, the answer that comes up for me, is a loss of control. Powerlessness.

But, why do we feel like we need to maintain control at all costs? Even if it means the loss of our own sanity and wellbeing?

Do I believe that I can orchestrate life better than God?

A faded lily on a lilypad in the background. Feel Happier and more connected to life in under 2 minutes a day!! Download your free guide now!
Feel Happier and more connected to life...all in under 2 minutes a day!

Feeble Attempts at Control

We create schedules and lists. We organize our home. We download the latest app to help us maintain order in our lives and our minds. We carefully craft our lives to create a sense of safety and comfort, to combat the sense of helplessness that comes with uncertainty.

And it never works. Because life is ever changing. It is the only thing we CAN be certain of.

It’s never a bad thing to set goals and have aspirations. Succeeding in areas that matter to us, increases confidence and self esteem.

It’s when we rigidly hold on to our ideas of the way that we think things ‘should be’ , that we block our connection to God and the universe.

Only by staying out of the way, can we allow the wisdom of life to flow through our experience, and manifest miracles.

Surrender is the internal acceptance, to the here and now.

It isn’t the actual (person, place, thing, or situation) that is causing you suffering. It’s your thoughts, stories, judgement, perceptions, labels, and sometimes even past traumas, causing you to resist the present moment.

Do you ever notice how you get mad about the exact same type of situations, all the time? What are those times for you? Are you feeling taken for granted? Unheard?

Some words that are synonymous with resistance are: battle, fight, struggle, friction, obstruction… you get the picture.

Spiritually, no action is more important than surrender. Surrender is the tenderest impulse of the heart, acting out of love to give whatever the beloved wants. Surrender is being alert to exactly what is happening now, not imposing expectations from the past. Surrender is faith that the power of love can accomplish anything, even when you cannot foresee the outcome of a situation. - Deepak Chopra

So, how did I begin to stop resisting life, and surrender to the intelligence and power of the present moment?

A beach at sunset. How I Stopped Resisting Life. The Simple Trick I use To Get Out of My Head and into the Powerful Present Moment.
How I Stopped Resisting Life. The Simple Trick I Use to Get Out Of My Head and into The Powerful Present Moment.


Usually, only after feeling the pain of resisting life, am I able to become aware that I’m causing my own suffering. Only in that moment of observation, without judgement, am I finally able to let go.

I’ve been practicing meditation for a little while now, and I seriously can’t rave enough about how it’s improved my world...inside and out! One area that’s dramatically improved is my chronic overthinking. My awareness is growing and allowing me to see when I’m having negative, critical, fear based thoughts, and quickly stop or change them into better feeling thoughts.

You might notice that the physical sensations that you’re experiencing are no different or more intense than what you experience when you feel excitement, love, or fear. It’s the meaning that you attach to the experience that changes your perception of it. Not the experience itself.

Feel into the pain

Seriously...lean into it. I know this seems counterintuitive. To choose to feel more of what already feels so uncomfortable, doesn’t make sense. But, it has been one of the best ways that I know to change my internal state quickly. Try it!

The next time you feel that irritation starting to form, notice it. Without judgement or labeling it, observe the sensations.

Where is the sensation the strongest? In the tension in the pit of your stomach? Your clenched jaw? Your tightened fists? Did you notice that your fingernails are cutting into the palm of your hand? No?

This is because deeply ingrained mental and emotional patterns are activated and slip right by our awareness. By the time our mind acknowledges the resistance, our body and emotions have already reacted.

Now, just continue giving attention to that area. Keep breathing normally and watch as the sensations dissipate.


Focus on your heart center

Now focus on your heart center...continuing to breathe normally. Notice how the energy changes when you take your attention off of your mind and into the powerful heart space.

Feel the fullness of the space that your heart takes up in your chest. Feel the rhythmic beat. Keep breathing. Feel the love.

Allow the love to radiate outside of your heart and through the rest of your body. Let that loving, warm energy flow down your arms and through your fingertips. Down through your abdomen, and into your legs and feet to the center of the earth. Let it rise up through your throat, face and out the top of your head. Let it radiate out beyond your physical body 3 feet...6 feet…

For more practice connecting and opening up your heart center, try out Deepak

Chopra’s 7 Step Meditation to Open Your Heart

Return to Now

Now bring your awareness into the present moment. Be here fully for whatever comes up.

What do you see? Feel? I don't want you to answer that. Just become an observer of your sensations.

Are there others around? Look them in the eye. Smile. Allow the loving energy that you just created in your heart space, to flow towards them and all throughout the space that your physical bodies encompass.

Now stay here , and live fully from this space.

This is the place of creation.

This is the place of miracles.

Final Thoughts on the Power of the Present

Each moment offers us wisdom, gifts, miracles, surprises, and connections...that we

can only access from the present. We cannot be so locked into our ideas of the way

that things should be, that we resist the magic that the universe wants to offer us in

every moment.

By becoming more aware, leaning into the pain, focusing on your heart center, and

bringing that loving energy into the present , you can align with the power of the

universe, surrender your will, stop resisting the flow of life, and brace yourself for

the magic coming your way.

Please share in the comments below, the best ways you know to stop resisting life

and live in a flow state. What have you been resisting? How do you let go?

Did this article resonate with you? By sharing and commenting, you can help this post

reach others who may need the power of surrender in their life. Plus + you help out your

girl too!

As Always...Love, Light, and Happiness


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